Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Neighbors

Back in the days when we had decided to shack up (live in sin) Mr. G had tried to get a transfer down to the coast so I would not have to relocate my business. After a year of trying it was decided I would move to central oregon. Soon Mr. G's house started to grow small... daily, and we only had 3 little monsters back then. So we found the new house (another story, another time) and the one thing we both really liked was the next door neighbor had a really cute yard with lots of flowers and veggies growing. I knew that meant real soil and a future garden... very rare in central oregon. Most folks grow rocks & sagebrush around here. But it was a cute place and she was a nice gal so we knew it would work, here is her garden then...
Then Maggie moved away and first rented her house out... but then she sold it.

The new people had 5or 6 kids, they were very religous (think gay hating biggots). One day soon after they moved in the head sow made a statement that their old neighbors were very happy they had moved away as they did not like the smells. At the time I thought that was a very strange thing to say to a new neighbor and I even asked Mr. G what that could mean... it did not sound good...
Turkeys smell, and when there are more then a dozen turkeys all pended up in a tiny pen they stink really bad. We soon found out what the head sow meant... the nice yard had changed also...
Then the shit hit the fan... Mr. G yelled at their kids one evening to keep it quiet, there are times when Mr. G has to get up before the crack of dawn to go to work. Soon the sow was on our front porch accusing a sleepy Mr. G of being a child stalking pediphile and everyone knows that gay guys do this... I came out on the porch and told the sleepy Mr. G to let me handle this...
I then proceeded to tell this white trash, stained sweats wearing, strongly smelling extremly fat sow what I thought of their "lifestyle". I then (after she told me we were damned to hell for eternity) told her that the only thing they had brought to our neighborhood since moving in was a decline in property values besides the stench from their house. She at that point started yelling (on our porch mind you) that we were after her children and she was putting a stop to it NOW. At that point I really lost my (well groomed) cool and told her to get her cock sucking mother fucking white trash ass off our property before I threw her mother fucking morman ass out in the street (see I did need that disclaimer on the top).

Soon the police were at our house, they visited for over 2 hours. The child stalking pediphiles had threatened the lives of the kind hearted christian neighbors who had done nothing wrong. The kind hearted christian neighbors were so threatened the called 911 3 different times before the police came. I no longer like the kind hearted white trash neighbors, they have since been nicknamed "the mother fucking mormans" and are still called that 1 year latter.
Mr. G now talks with them, he says we should put the past behind us... I remind him still about my family & the civil war... I will never forget. I have never had to entertain officers of the law at home before, it is not pleasant. I also find it surprising that the kind hearted God loving neighbors let their children play in our yard whenever we are not home. After what they told the police I would think they would warn their children away from the child stalking gay pediphiles... huh... go figure.
Now you've learned something new today!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Squirreling

I get in this mode every fall where I am sure we will starve (to death) or freeze (to death) during the winter months. I think it is from growing up for some of my wonder years on the edge of the Sierra's and actually getting snowed in and having no water for spells. It could also be that great, great uncle Luke died in the Donner Party in the Sierra's back in the 1800 somethings. He was not eaten! Anyway winter is my favorite season and I love to know that the wood is split and stacked and there is plenty of food (nuts) stored away.

So here is the new seasoned wood in front of the old seasoned wood waiting for the Kevbear to get to stacking. There used to be a nice woodshed to put it in but the bitch neighbor from hell filed a complaint that it was a fire hazard to her vacant lot and the county made us move it, it was too close to the property line... it is now a wonderful garden shed!


So as part of my squirrel activity I went to the big city and bought some extra food. On Saturday I put 20 pounds of cheese in the freezer and another 6 meatloafs (12 total so far). I get this way... This year I did some research (thanks LDS) and bought some books and came up with a plan! A meal plan. I looked at what we eat and how often, as I am the cook in the house this was easy. I then looked at 2 weeks worth of meals, I then broke it down into what each meal took to make. I then figured these meals (with variations) for 8 months. Just until next years garden starts producing. And then inventoried what I already had stored away, and thought "oh shit I need more stuff!". So I shopped... Mr. G does have a point (ignored by me) that we do not have the room for my squirrel list. I am determined... I am also very worried...


We have some class A idiots running things these days. We are in a war over oil (#2 so far) and will be in more soon and very few leaders say we are in a war over oil... yet. We have an economy that is running on borrowed time that could pull many things down world-wide... soon. We have a government that is not addressing the fact that we are in a war over a dwindling resource and should really be putting the $'s into some new energy avenues. So I am worried...

I spent Sunday canning. Now I have not canned for 20+ years, so I thought that it might be a good time to get in practice again, what with having a garden and all. So I put up a dozen quarts of dill pickles and a dozen pints of relish. It was cool out so it helped warm the house up, and it helped get rid of most of the veggies on the dining room table. The zucs will become zuc/carrot breads for the winter hoard. Next weekend will maybe be applesauce... There is also that wood -pile waiting...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

First Frost

It always seems to happen about this time. Just as we are ready for a bounty of tomatoes... it hits. Never fails. I was out until almost dark last night picking peppers, squash, watermelons, cantalopes. Got most of the tomatoes covered with some extra coverage for the artichokes and watermelons. So I will hope for the tomatoes, there is plenty of corn, and we will have potatoes to last all winter! Plus there is the bonus of all the strawberries & aspargus that I planted that will be good eating next spring!
This morning went down to the garden, sure enough... it hit 29 last night and when I get home tonight I think it is time to pick the last of the baby peppers, zucs, & cucs. It is due to be 29 again tonight and then warming to give me false hope on the hundreds of tomatoes ready to ripen. I will be canning this weekend... the dining room table is loaded with vegies.

After a bad start to the first ever garden at this house (2 freezes in mid-June & neighbors from hell deciding to have free range bunnies (bunnies dig)) I thought I might get a break on a September frost. So I would say we had 80 frost free days. We did get to eat our first corn two nights ago and it was as sweet as honey. And Mom & JR who helped with the watering while we were gone did get a huge bounty from the garden. New rule... do not take a September trip when you have planted a big garden.

The big, giant, bloated Super Walmart opened yesterday in town and everyone wanted to go, Mr. G stopped after work to see it. Mom wanted to go but no one wanted to go with her so she will go today. It was on the news, it was an event, there was no parking... it is 5 acres under 1 roof for crying out loud. And twice that in pavement. There is a Home Depot going in next door, there is a Lowes going in down the road... and our economy is going where? To China? To Saudi Arabia? I am sure we will see these giant boxes be empty shells in the not too distant future. Both those countries could pull the plug on the US dollar and send this SUV, buy more and more, heads in the sand economy of ours into a depression that would make the 20's and 80's look like cake walks. So I will get better at canning, plant the last of the fruit trees this coming spring, and plant a much bigger garden next spring!