Today Kevbear got to do something he rarely does. Kevbear has only done this thing a few times, you can count the times on a paw and a half paw... (under 10 times if you are paw challenged). Most times people have called Kevbear and said skip all the BS, we want YOU! But to keep our happy home happy Kevbear went out into the big world for a job interview. It was pointed out to the Kevbear that we are dinks (double income, no kids) and right at this moment we were being sinks (single income, no kids). What with real estate in America being what it is... So Kevbear (being of unsound mind & hot body) put out what are called internet job apps, Kevbear thought that would be the end of it... the next day the phone rang... Shit thought Kevbear, hurray thought Mr. Grumpy...
So this morning Kevbear had to remember what real people do with real jobs... this was not easy as Kevbear has not worked at a real job in (19 years?) a little while... So first Kevbear woke up...
And then Kevbear groomed himself... (picture deleted for viewer sanity). While Kevbear was busy with nose hair trimmers and some secret lotions, Kevbear thought of what people want in an employee... Kevbear thought some more... Kevbear thought about what is important to him...hmmmm... Christmas tree?
No... too big to take along... hmmmm... maybe something bright & shiny to distract potential bosses that Kevbear had bags under his eyes??? Quickly Kevbear sprang to action and took unshiny object and put it in shiny object fluid!
Shiny diamonds would keep their attention from the fact that Kevbear needed a hairycut! Then Kevbear hopped in the shower and took a long hot shower (picture deleted for viewer sanity again). The Kevbear decided that if clothes make the man they might help Kevbears too! So Kevbear looked for some clothes...
too Kevbear?
too country?
too Caribbean?
too early?
too preppy?
too fleecy?
Kevbear could not decide... Kevbear went for shoes to cover size 13 paws...
Kevbear went for black loafers. Then Kevbear went to pick out a jacket...
Kevbear finally decided what to wear... it was what most Kevbears think of a "country club casual". Kevbear learned this term while cruising!
Then Kevbear went to get in the car... Kevbear forgot that when it is 15 at night the car might need some primping time too...
While the Honda primped, Kevbear had a muffin... then Kevbear got back in the car... "holly shit Batman" (thought Kevbear) I am going to be late!
Kevbear had just 25 minutes to make the 30 minute drive... Kevbear wanted to be a "dink" really bad! And Kevbears are never late!!! So Kevbear started to hurry... That did not last long... a mile from home Kevbear got behind the slowest RV driver ever! There was nowhere to pass... This guy was holding up at least 72 cars (by Kevbears estimate), so Kevbear did something he never does... he passed over a double yellow line... there was something in the way...
Kevbear eventually made it around the slowest RV driver in recorded history and got to go over the speed limit... then Kevbear got behind a truck or two... the first truck driver was busy looking around at stuff, he was sipping coffee, he was picking at something in his ear, he was scratching his left nut... He was doing everything but looking at his speedometer...
Kevbear passed this driver who managed to speed up just as we hit 2 lanes each way... funny how that happens... Then Kevbear passed a sign that said... " construction ahead, all trucks use right lane only", Kevbear was now following a blind person driving a semi-truck!!!
Kevbear continued to bob & weave through the slowest traffic ever to be seen... Kevbear was 5 minutes late for the interview...
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